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We'll go to a fast food place and eat in the car."My mother lied to me. We went to a restaurant at the mall. Sure it had a side entrance so it was only a couple of feet into the restaurant. But it was packed with people. I pleaded with her to go to a drive-thru restaurant. "No Tonya, this will help you build your confidence in your ability to be one of us." But what if any of my friends from school see me, Mom?" Your friends from school are supposed to be in school. Therefore the likelihood that you'll run into anyone that knows Roy is very slim. Besides, you certainly don't look like Roy at this minute so even if we did run into anyone, they wouldn't recognize the pretty girl with me as being the gangly boy from school." But what if we run into someone that recognizes you and then looks twice at me. Mom, please let's go to a drive-thru."Putting her arm around my waist, Mom's strong right arm guided me as she gave me a definitive answer. "I expect people to look twice at you.. I made two stops within five minutes of each other, the first was to the local neighborhood liquor store and picked up a fifteen pack of beer, I wanted to drink myself unconscious. I wanted these thoughts of my son and the damage that I caused to our relationship to leave me for at least a night. Just one night. The second stop was to the Pizza Hut, my pizza’s were ready and waiting for my pickings. I paid, took the food out to the car and made my way down the final stretch to the house. In essence I was afraid to return home, even in my anger I was more at peace at the office where I was not expecting anyone to talk to me, hoping that no one would. I used to expect David to talk to me, and definitely still wanted him to, but where there was conversation silence now reigned in almost utter and complete control. I took the pizza in first, walked up to the house, unlocked the door and entered the darkening living room, without bothering to push off my shoes I went into the kitchen with.
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